You decide to pull up your favorite Relationship Spread to explore your love life for insight. You get your cards, meditate, shuffle and lay out the cards. If any of these cards appear, tuck in, and focus on the message the card has in relation to the other cards around it.
Use this information to
- understand why you need to pay attention to these cards in relationship readings, and then
- understand the interpretations in action, by seeing it connected in a simple, three card relationship spread.
I. XVI Tower
Change forced upon you, changes to the status quo. A tower built up is torn down.
If the relationship is the tower, how do you see the relationship? If you see it as something that you do not want to end, this is an indication that the relationship could be at an end. Making assumptions is detrimental, and it’s time to force open the lines of communication before it’s too late.
II. XIII Death
Good news, This card doesn’t mean actual, literal end of a life. However, its meaning of transformation and change carries with it the fact that something will be left behind, as other things or people move on.
Situations that you count on and take for granted may not be available to you anymore. At least, not in the way you are used to.
What about your relationship is familiar? What are you clinging to that may be making you unhappy?
This card is encouragement, that stepping away from security into uncertainty is a step towards growth if you cannot resolve your problems is the best way to go.
Sample reading: XIII Death in a Relationship Spread
In practice, this is how this card can be interpreted in a reading.
It’s an easy three card spread, position one representing your feelings, position two representing the other person’s feelings, and the third position illustrates the outcome as a result of the influences from the first two cards.
Here are two different readings, with the Death card in different card positions.
Position One: Your Feelings: The Four of Cups means that your head is in the clouds. It means that you’re thinking about things that you might not have access too… you’re dreaming is really wishful in its nature. A lot of the time the card serves as a warning, telling you to be careful; Pay attention and appreciate what you have and to try not to put as much importance into what you wish you had. It reminds us to count your blessings and focus on things that you have to be thankful for. In this reading however, I think that it’s really pointing to the fact that you are thinking of things that are not available to you. Since this is a relationship spread, it means that you may be thinking about a fantasy relationship, or unrealistic expectations of your partner.
Position Two: The Other Person’s Feelings: The Death card means that this particular person is in a big period of transformation in their lives. When people experience this, often times things, in general, change – so this could also be detrimental to the relationship as you never know what exactly will change.
This card is prompting you to look at the other person in the relationship and see what they’re feeling. It’s very clear that there’s a change, it could be in their feelings,or their opinions or their expectations, and that there’s a closing of a chapter in their lives, and the beginning of another. This could just mean that there’s an attitude change or just the shift of energy, but it’s important to see how this will affect the relationship, especially if it’s an important relationship, a committed relationship.
Position Three: The Outcome: The Ace of Pentacles reversed means that you are paying too much attention to finances or that you may be worried specifically about material a security. So you also might have negative feelings about finances so you may be jealous of other people or you may be putting negative energy out there because of financial concerns. In terms of relationships, when you look at this card you really want to hone in on the jealousy of security. You want to let go of the material aspect of the card and hone in on the emotional and interpersonal implications. Jealousy and negative emotions could be detrimental.
Interpretation Conclusions: You are thinking grandiose, unattainable desires, and your partner is experiencing a transformation. Because if your partner’s experience, you have feelings of jealous and this puts your relationship at risk. You need to stop and examine what it is that you are thinking about and what and how your partner is changing. Are you concerned that your partner might grow apart from you? You need to make sure that you have those jealous feelings in check, and that there’s no snags that could come up and play havoc on the relationship.
I’m going to move the Ace of Pentacles to a different position to see how the the interpretation changes if we had Death in a different position in the spread.
Position One: Your Feelings: SAME AS READING The Four of Cups means that your head is in the clouds. It means that you’re thinking about things that you might not have access too… you’re dreaming is really wishful in its nature. A lot of the time the card serves as a warning, telling you to be careful; Pay attention and appreciate what you have and to try not to put as much importance into what you wish you had. It reminds us to count your blessings and focus on things that you have to be thankful for
Position Two: The Other Person’s Feelings: The Ace of Pentacles now represents your partner and this really means that this that your partner is in a really negative place. They’re not secure, they’re feeling really jealous and greedy. Obviously, this is going to affect your relationship.
Position Three: The Outcome: Death. Something will end and then something else will be born from it. Now you really need to stop and think of the day-to-day aspects of your life to realize what it is that you’re thinking of.
You are not happy because you are focused on desires that you cannot have, and your partner is jealous of things outside of their control. Define the problem you will come to a solution and that’s the message of this reading here you need to identify the different problems that are here or the relationship will come to an end.
III. IX The Hermit
This card is extremely spiritual and calls for pulling inward for reflection. It calls for pulling focus away from others onto yourself, which isn’t always conducive to a relationship.
What do you want? Is your relationship really a priority right now? Examine your behavior. Are your actions aligned with your best interests? If you are in a committed relationship, consider if you and your partner are moving in the same direction.
IV. Three of Swords
Sorrow, pain, loneliness. This card points to very deep emotional issues that need to be addressed before the healing that is right around the bend. This card always represents pain and difficulty in the context of relationships.
Examine yourself and consider how you may be harmed. The feelings of sorrow are inevitable, and you cannot force what you have no control over, and understand that you cannot repair it all alone.
V. Five of Swords
This card brings conflict and uncertainty with it, but internally and externally. Conflicts, like mixed feelings and difficult choices, might escalate quickly. Rushing to decision and judgment before reflection could prove detrimental!
VI. Ten of Swords
This card represents completion and rebirth. New beginnings and the start of new projects only because of other things coming to an end. Opportunities or situations come to an end. In relationship readings, this card is a hint to ensure that you have clarify and a full understanding of circumstances that may be affecting the union.
There is also an element of deception that contradicts any feelings of stability.
VII. Two of Cups Reversed
While the card in upwards position is exactly what you would want to see in a relationship reading, the card in its reversed position serves as the exact opposite.
There are obstacles that are preventing the two parties joining together. This indicates emotional problems in the relationship. It also points to past issues and problems that keep turning up to cause problems, and just won’t stay away.
VIII. Three of Cups Reversed
Those that are already familiar with the cards might scratch their heads at this selection. After all, the Three of Cups is a relatively upbeat card. This card calls for reconnecting with and checking to make sure your connections and bonds with friends and family are as strong as you think they are. In my experience, it is always foretelling something happening in the near future in which I would need to draw support from these relationships.
Indirectly, this card is telling you that something will happen and you will need your outside support system. It’s this something will happen that puts me on edge and on guard for a dramatic change in my life or obstacle coming my way.
IX. Five of Pentacles
This card rubs me the wrong way when it comes to relationship readings, for similar reasons as the Three of Cups reversed. This card indicates a loss of security, a need for seeking help, and turning away from the “familiar” because it is no longer there.
It suggests that feelings are not returned, and you are not going to get what you want.
X. Ten of Pentacles Reversed
The Ten of Pentacles is such an incredibly profound card (in my opinion). In the reversed position however, I just feel overwhelmingly on edge. The card reminds you to look at all you have and be grateful for it. Take pride in your work and focus on that. The problem, is that when it applies to relationships, it calls for you to examine why there is a need to do this. Why do you need to look at all you have and be grateful for it? Boredom is a deterrent to a strong growing relationship, and is the cause of break-up of many once-solid relationships.
++Decks featured in the post are the Rider-Waite-Smith, The Golden Thread Tarot, and the Tarot of Moon Garden
What do you think? Tell me below! I’d love yo hear your experiences…